Todos Are Opportunities
The Human Condition, René Magritte (1935)
Is the landscape real or painted? Are these obligations or opportunities?
Your to-do list is a mirror that reflects your relationship with reality.
“I have to present to the board next week.”
Mark, a first-time founder, had recently closed his Series A. Despite the milestone, the weight of obligation was heavy in his voice as he bore the burden of investor expectations. He had been procrastinating on the presentation for weeks, caught in a familiar cycle of anxiety about defending decisions and proving his worth.
"What if you GET TO present to the board? What if it's an opportunity to share your vision with people who can accelerate your growth?"
There was a shift. Mark's voice softened.
"Yeah... that's actually really good," he allowed, his posture straightening. "These are exactly the people who could open doors we can't even see. I've got real wins to share."
The presentation hadn't changed—same slides, same investors, same stakes. But Mark's relationship to it shifted completely. A defensive performance became an exciting collaboration.
Two Orientations
I don't believe in to-do lists. I only make opportunity lists.
To-do lists:
Obligations we HAVE to do
Full of tasks
Foster self-judgment ("I should have done this already")
Overwhelm us with their length
Generate resistance
Reinforce a victim narrative where life happens to us
Opportunity lists:
Things we GET to do
Full of possibilities
Foster curiosity about potential futures
Inspire us with their length (more opportunities = more possibilities!)
Generate energy
Reinforce a gratitude narrative where life happens for us
You’re Under No Obligation
Language like “I have to,” “I should,” and “I need to” activates controlled motivation, compliance driven by external pressure. Our focus narrows to just getting through the task.
Mark’s “need” to present triggered threat detection systems. The presentation felt heavy and the temptation to avoid was high. His brain was bracing for survival, not spotting opportunities.
When we reframe obligations as opportunities, we shift from controlled motivation to autonomous motivation, fully engaged with our actions in alignment with our values. This state is characterized by broader awareness, enhanced creativity, and sustainable energy.
Mark experienced this firsthand. After the reframe, he could sense opportunities for collaboration in investor questions rather than defending against attacks. His natural conviction and charisma shone through.
This isn't about positive thinking or forcing enthusiasm. It's about recognizing our agency to choose our relationship to experience.
The Stoics taught that some constraints are immutable. It’s not easy to reframe death, illness, or injustice as opportunities. However, we always retain our fundamental freedom: the choice to respond skillfully. We align with our capacity for conscious choice rather than unconscious reaction.
Choosing to See Choice
Language is a feedback loop—it reveals our worldview and shapes who we become.
Why do we talk about our work like it’s imposed upon us? “I have to do this,” “I should handle that.” Your to-do list doesn’t write itself. You choose what to put there.
Try this experiment. Next time you’re in your inbox, notice the pre-resistance from thinking, “I have to respond to emails.” Then, re-engage with a new frame: “I get to connect with people who want to engage with my work.” Observe what shifts.
At any moment, we can transform from victim to protagonist in our story. This is called "re-authoring": consciously rewriting the story we tell ourselves.
This framing reinforces an “internal locus of control,” the belief that our actions matter and we can meaningfully influence our outcomes. Individuals with a high internal locus of control exhibit enhanced physical resilience, improved mental health, and a longer life expectancy.
Every time we choose “get to” over “have to,” we strengthen our identity as authors of our experience rather than reactors. Over time, this changes not just how we approach individual tasks, but our relationship to challenge itself.
The Meta Trap
Transforming to-dos into opportunities begs systematization, like any valuable technique. “I should practice catching myself in obligation framing. I need to remind myself to see opportunities.”
Notice the language creeping back in? The cure has become another symptom.
The antidote is to maintain a gentle touch. Use obstacles as reminders. When you catch yourself “shoulding” the practice, smile at the irony and start fresh. You always have the power to choose your relationship to any experience.
This is what existentialists call authentic existence—taking responsibility for creating meaning rather than waiting for it to appear.
The Compound Effect
Over time, micro-choices accumulate into a fundamentally different relationship with reality. The world is no longer a thing happening “out there.” It’s an interface, full of buttons to press and levers to pull.
Mark's breakthrough wasn't about nailing his presentation—it was about remembering who he was. He stopped seeing himself as needing to prove his worth and reconnected with his excitement for sharing his vision.
Eventually, we don't "remember to reframe." The practice fades into the background.
We find that we can’t help but stumble upon opportunities because opportunity recognition is now part of our core identity. We become the kind of person who perceives possibilities where others see problems, discovers agency where others feel apathy, and finds fulfillment where others face frustration.
Your to-do list remains a mirror. You can choose what it reflects back—obligation or opportunity. The list hasn't changed. You have.